I have been busy very busy with this thing called life. My routine was just going to work then home. I am a full time mother taking care of 3 kids, a cat and the apartment. Then one day, I just got tired of it all including my kids lol… So I did what every loca (crazy) person will do, I made my schedule so busy I have NO time to complain or get tired of it all. I created an excuse ..
This is what I did. I got a daily calendar and decided I will do something everyday. I started taking a free writing class after work on Mondays. I decided I want to become a better writer for the purpose of becoming a neat semi professional blogger. I also know that this will help me in the near future for when I decide to enroll in college and have to take an entry exam. On Tuesdays I go to the Copa after work (this is what I consider my gym time), and on Wednesdays I take an after work free beginners Math class which I absolutely love. With this class I can help my daughter with her math homework. So you see where this is going, I no longer complain about how I just go home and do choirs, cook or deal with the kids. I created another type of life one that makes me a little happy to be able to do something I want because I want to.
I know that I went overboard with the fact that one day I was not doing much with my routine to going full blast that now I hardly go straight home, I should of played it even and started slow with maybe 2 nights a week but fuck it if I figured it don’t matter if it’s 1 or 4 we will all just have to adjust. I just needed to feel as if I have my life in my own hands. I know once you have kids you are practically screwed (even after they become grown ups we are still their mama lol) but I just don’t feel the need to be physically there all the time, I want so desperate for them to realize that they are growing up and need to be more independent than what they are now. I also know that this is temporary. After all, the classes will come to an end someday lol and I have done something similar to this before, but the truth is that is happening now and I secretly love it.
What I have observed is this, you (we) have to MAKE a moment count, if we feel we have to teach a lesson then why not let it be a good important beneficial lesson. What I am trying to say and it’s not really coming out is this. My children are now depending on each other more than they did before. I see the difference. My 2 oldest makes sure that the youngest does his homework and my daughter makes light food for the boys. I know more than half the people I know would say this is a parent job but in my household I made it a family obligation to help each other in all matters. My youngest is in kindergarten so how hard can his homework be, I do not need to be there for that when I am doing something that will help all of us in the future. On the days that I do go home straight after work I take that day to clean up and do house choirs. I switch our whole routine around. We talk more; I guess is because they miss me, oh and we kiss and hug more too. I am not saying we didn’t before, but its been a while since I have felt the need to just “do me” and do something I want regardless of what I have to do when I get home. Things still get done, I still cook and clean and spend time with the kids but now I’m happier because I also go dancing and to school and see the changes that are happening in my household in my life and my children’s. I don’t mean to teach them a lesson but I need for them to realize they have to be there for each other and by me just saying it I felt it need to be emphasized and demonstrated so I did one of the only thing I knew, I let them figure it out on their own (even if some people find they too young) I know my kids better than anyone else in the planet, in the universe and I knew this would work. It was either gonna blow up in my face (which my teen sort of did) but I realized it was mostly cause he is lazy and didn’t want the responsibility of helping with his siblings but I told him “don’t be afraid to grow up, and the more you get older the more shit you have to learn and do”, or it was gonna go good and they adjust to the changes which was the outcome of this current situation.
Well classes end on the first week of December. I don’t know what I will do afterwards lol but I know I will always remain being myself and if I can make myself happy I can make my children and others around me feel good near me and hopefully happy too once I give them the excuse that I use jejejejeje…
thanks for reading