Like always ima start by saying I miss blogging.. I have been busy with other things and stopped writing 😦 because it’s the only way I know of to not think of my depression but that’s not what this blog is about.
We do it when We want to. I say this for a few reasons.. my own reasons. I know I have to loose weight. I hardly know of anyone who doesn’t. And by now (30+) we also know what we must do (eat,sleep and exercise). But do we do it.. Fuck no.. We do it when we are ready not when your doctors or family or your own body tells you. Don’t get me wrong they help as motivators and support but it’s not the same as when it’s You who wants too not them. One day I woke up and I said “sonia, stop the fuckery and try”. I wanted too because now I was feeling sad,fat and ugly. Whereas before I’ve been given tips,pills and the never ending gym routines, it didn’t work because I was feeling ok being chubby and round. Lol I was like “damn, why people stressing me about my weight”. But then it hit me.. I wanted to see a change and I felt I was ready. I took things my own way, slowly and quietly I started to make changes.
I drink.. Actually I love drinking and I drink a lot. I don’t have friends that tell me I should quit or stop because I’m quick to tell them to fuck off but one day I noticed how much I spend on liquor and realized it’s not worth it.. Only because the drinks at the club sucks and if your looking to get a buzz you have to drink around 6 good ones (that’s almost 60bucks) and the small bottles of my favorites liquor at the liquor store are.around 25 and it was hardly messing with me lol. So because I alone was ready I slowed down, I changed what I drink and I hardly drink at clubs anymore. I did this on my own because we do it when we want to. I could of been saving money we all know liquor is getting expensive but it took me, myself and I to want to stop the fuckery.
The same goes for smoking (I don’t smoke cigarettes) but I always wondered why would someone who has been told they need to stop don’t just stop then I realized it’s because they don’t fucking want too. it’s not that they can’t it’s more like they don’t want. They not ready.
I do this with everything. 😦 I need to go back to school, I’m not to sure why though but everyone is doing it so I figured I can too. But it’s when I’m ready. It’s when I Sonia makes up her mind that I do things.
How sad, it really is. I feel though the job gets done better and with more results when it’s up to us to want to do them but I still think we waste time and energy waiting to want,to do an improvement rather than when someone suggesting it we jump right on it. I mean eventually aren’t we going to do it anyways. Or hopefully we do it.
Well I won’t write too much . I just wanted to clear the air around me on why I last so long to do something I should. And it’s because I do it when I’m good and ready. Lol