Let me start by saying he’s my oldest and he’s 15yrs old.
I don’t have a problem with him asking me if he can go out to hang with his school friends, after all,so far those are the only friends he has. He has very limited friends near our hood and with those they usually just hang in each others crib. A typical hangout will be the movies, to eat at this chinese buffet that they love (lol) or gamestop.. Those have been the only places I have allowed him to go. He’s not allowed to just hang in the streets.
But shit is changing because just recently girls (lol smh) are starting to hang with them. I still can’t get over this. So it seems that my teen likes a certain one who freaking lives far in Brooklyn almost Queens. Anyways, he had told me that he is going to pick her up from her summer job on Friday around 5pm. I spoke to him around 4:20 and told him “ok call me when you get there”. This same Friday I wanted to try a spot called HK (HellsKitchen) right after work before going out to a club (lol). So it turns out this spot HK is a hookah lounge but I decided to stay and treated myself to a smoke. It was still early (6:20) and so I texted my teen “yo where u at”, and kept enjoying this hookah session. Meanwhile, my friend Diana is texting me making final plans to meet for the club. Things are ok UNTIL, the hookah was about to finish and I noticed the fucking time 8:40pm wtf. I didn’t notice this session lasted this long, then again I was the only one smoking, that’s when I realized the jerk didn’t text back. So I called and the phone rang 2x then went straight to voicemail.. fml.. I didn’t panic I went straight to upset mood. let me tell you call me crazy lol (don’t) but I’m so into my children’s lives and thoughts and space that I have developed my own secret sense for them and my gut didn’t tell me he was in danger it was more of a he just messed up right now with me feeling, but damn it got me upset. I called his godmother and grandmother and told them to keep calling/texting him until he,picked up because at this point I wasn’t gonna go to the club and I left the hookah lounge and was on my way to the train.. My night ruined.. This was the 1st time that he had gone out hanging and lasted a few hours Without reporting to me. That feeling is horrible, I didn’t cry. I just thought my god, these kids aren’t responsible, considerate, or not even thinking of the danger they put themselves in by simply not calling.
my train ride home was sad.
He did call me, eventually, actually caught me right before I went inside the mta. Explained his side of the story and that he was almost already home. The whole train ride I was thinking what should I say or do. Punish?hit him?yell?
what I did when I got home was take his phone away and told him “you’ll get it back once you figure out what you did wrong and apologize for it”.
Fuck it ima let my kids learn from their own experiences. I decided (withthe exception of the youngest) that I will not point fingers, play the blame game or force them to see it my way. My kids aren’t going to learn this way.
Thanks for reading. And any parenting tips for a 1st time mother of a teen is appreciated..