Hi.. I am almost in denial but the fact is that I think (not proven yet, it’s in the first stages) that I have outgrown my friends..or they have left me behind and when I say friends I mostly mean the one’s i’ve been around for years.. mainly my junior highschool friends (yep that long), friends that shared the same neighborhood when we were younger, the one’s I consider true friends , almost family 😦 shit im getting a little teary eye typing this..
well to give an updated example of why I feel this way here it goes: I remember when we would post an event in fb (lol) and within hours a few of us would already be chatting away, plans were almost finalized within a few days, memories and jokes shared.. we would randomly post stuff until the actual day of the event with an extra bonus of still posting on the same tread even a few days after.. things aren’t like this anymore.. already I cancelled a hangout we wanted to plan because no one was responding.. we are currently planning a bbq for early August and I seem to be the only one asking questions and getting no answer back.. migh just plan it with my children only..fuck it
another example: I have (and probably will always) be a club head (old school term), I simply simply simply love dancing and for the past few years with the exceptional bdays or big events my old school friend will join me .but for the majority I go out by myself.. because it seems when I would invite my friends it would always be an excuse or they just not into it…which is fine but it bothers me when they say “oh you don’t get tired, same shit, it’s boring” I’m like how you know?.when was the last time you went out.. foh (fuckouttahere) lol so now I can’t even do that with them..
another example is I’ve tried plenty of times to start a book club; with the intentions of course of reading awesome books and feeling smarter but also with the goal in mind that we doing something together as a group as friends , something to keep ourselves with things in common.. I’ve leaned the hard way that any type READ THIS AGAIN ANY TYPE of relationship has to have things in common in order to keep it going.. we lost it somewhere.. don’t know when or how.. the thing is I think its me.. because I see my friends still sort of interacting with each other.. at first I wondered was it something I did, or said (lol) but I’m like no.. it’s that I no longer share the same interest because I don’t change.. I’ve been this way since birth (i luv exaggerations) but honestly I have.. I don’t know why when I like doing something I don’t get tired , I can repeat it over and over.. but my friends have gotten lazy on me.. I don’t see them as active and I wonder if I bother them.. I still enjoy playing board games, cards, wii, I can talk for hours (lol) I like to be entertained there fore I am also a entertainer always having games in mind..topics to discuss
I’m a little sad.. because I slowly see them plan things without me.. because we don’t find what’s in common anymore.. I see they eat more lol they don’t dance, don’t even talk about real shit.. last hangout we had (lastweek) I blogged about it.. most of them were on their phones 😦
I am going on with the bbq plans but I’m falling back on asking who’s brining what.. I’m also going to fall back in inviting them to read some of my blogs.. you would think as old friends they would be excited that I found a new interest ..but it goes to show we need to do things for ourselves before others …
writing about it feels better than venting to my friends about it lol there is a difference , with blogging I feel I don’t have to defend my opinions .btw OPIONS ARENT MENT TO BE ARGUED…AND FACTS ARE MENT TO BE PROVEN.. plain and simple.. don’t argue about how your friends/family should feel lol hope they miss me when I’m gone.. I plan on taking a few college courses ..and pick up my swimming again.. I have to (not by choice but by destiny) keep busy and my mind occupied.. I only wish we can at least respect the years and energy we gave each other thruout the years and give it a better chance..
blogging while on the while trying not to cry