well I don’t know what this change that I’m going through called.. some say midlife crisis. Who knows.. all I know is that at first I was scared because I didn’t want to interact with my friends/family they would call me but I just wasn’t in the mood to talk.. I rather sit in my living room looking around and seeing what have I bough and collected through the years.and concentrate on that… some stuff would be thrown away other stuff would be given away but I started mentally to just get rid of things and keep those things I don’t mind seeing everyday.. guess that’s what happened with me and the people I know.. I somehow just wanted to keep those around that I interact with.. it just turned out this way..
while this was going on I learned that I want to go back to school but not full time just take a few classes here and there.. keep the brain active
I learned that I will keep going to the gym and dieting but AT MY OWN PACE.. not like how I use to before where I thought I had to look slim just because I was going to the gym
I learned that I need to be more active in my kids lives its never gonna be fucking enough..until they not young adults they can kiss my ass ..they gonna have a mother there always.
I’ve learned to deal with certain people from my job .. and by that I mean just keep more to myself everyday..I don’t want to make new friends at work or best friends I just want to be known as someone they find cool..
I’ve learned that my relationship with family is a dead zone.. I don’t know how I feel about this quite yet.. but I know I stopped being the niece, sister, and cousin I was..
I wonder if anyone else has gone through this.. I want to let them know that it’s not their fault.. we do play a part in it..but we can’t have a blaming game here.. I just pretty much went with the flow of things and this is where I’m at in life.. just me and my kids and a stable future.. nothing glamour’s nothing I can’t handle.. very simple.. if this is the hand I was dealt with then I gladly play the hand..